Death & Mourning

We believe that Judaism contains profound wisdom about death and mourning. We are here to give guidance and support. The two central Jewish principles in this area are to honour the deceased (kibud ha-met) and comfort the mourners (nichum aveilim).

Judaism teaches that it is a commandment (mitzvah) to stay with the deceased from death until burial. A shomer (watcher) stays with the body, which is prepared for burial with a traditional and respectful ritual of washing (taharah). Funerals are held as soon as it is possible for family and friends to assemble. Before the service, there is a brief ritual for the immediate family, known as keriah (tearing), where an item of clothing is torn as an expression of grief. The funeral service itself combines prayers and readings with a eulogy in which we pay tribute to the life of the deceased. Funerals are usually followed by burial, in which the mourners help lay their loved one to rest. This is followed by a seven-day period of mourning known as shiva, and a thirty-day period of mourning known as sheloshim. The first year of mourning is especially significant, as is the anniversary of the date of death (yahrzeit) in all subsequent years. Members of the Temple community receive notice each year of these anniversaries, so as to come and say kaddish, the mourner’s prayer, at Temple, and to light a candle of remembrance. We also have memorial boards at Temple where a light can be lit beside a loved one’s name.

Over the centuries, Jews have buried and mourned their dead in many different ways. Traditionally, cremation has not been a normative Jewish practice, out of respect for the integrity of our bodies, given by God. However, we do not believe that any practice involving the bodies of our deceased can impact upon their souls. For those who choose cremation, we officiate at their funerals, and we encourage burial of their remains. We urge families to discuss any and all issues around end-of-life planning, including cremation, and our clergy are always available for guidance.

Rabbi Grushcow’s article “CREMATION, COMPASSION AND CHOICE”  CJN, December 7, 2016